Up and Down

Eeesh, I really need to be better about blogging! I feel like life is nonstop right now, what's sleep again? Starting with Emmie:

She's up to 25 CC's on her feeds, but today they are not increasing her numbers because her output increased. Bummer. She is continuing with no need for a feeding tube thank goodness! Yesterday little miss feisty squirmed so much she tore part of her stitches open, but not enough to need to restitch at least. I got to nurse her for the first time last night, twice!!! It was absolutely amazing and now it's all I want to do. She was only allowed to latch for 5 minutes but I am so thankful for those 5 minutes. They have to weigh her before then nurse then weigh again to see how much she ate. She was allowed 25 CC's the first nursing session she got 36 CC's, minor oops! Second session, same time, she got 44 CC's, MAJOR oops!!! But she handled it well and was so sleepy afterwards. She's never had a belly that full! I am so thankful she latched, I was really worried she wouldn't.

Now for some not so great news. Emmie tested positive for antibiotic resistant staph today, she's not sick and no infection it's just present on her skin. We all live with staph on our skin but the types are different. The only concern with hers is that it's resistant against antibiotics and if it spreads to one of the really preemie or sick babies in the NICU it would be life threatening. So nurses have to wear gowns and gloves now around her and she was moved to isolation. Maybe it will be more quiet for her :) most importantly she is NOT sick from this and we desperately need it to stay that way. She's been in contact with so many nurses, doctors, us and close family, plus the surgery they really aren't surprised that she has it.

Christmas was so hard with all the snow we couldn't get to her :( the whole day was really tough knowing her first Christmas was here and we weren't with her. But we realized it wasn't worth risking our lives on the road, there were tons of accidents and it is already a far drive snow would have made it extra long. We have two baby girls to think about that need both of their parents so we stayed put. We'll just pretend next year is her first Christmas instead!

Being with our families really helped the day and our emotions. Thank you Lord for all of them, I'd probably be checked into the psych ward without them!

I read the book of Job while I was pregnant because it fit our situation. I started it again last night to really dig in to God's word and maybe understand it a little more. As easy as it is to be angry with Him for all of this and my postpartum complications, I will continue to praise His name. The blessings outweigh the bad. How can we only accept the good but not accept the bad? We are not promised pure joy and perfection 100% of the time. Trying to remember that through this.

I'm stuck doing 3 more days of medication trying to avoid surgery for complications. It's really testing me and hard to be away from Emmie yet again. Please pray for this to work so I can get back to being the mom my girls need. Pray for Emery's feeds to increase and her output to decrease, that she will not develop any infection, and some peace for all of us.

Please continue to share her story and her fundraiser, it's so important to us and we would be extremely thankful!