What Did He Just Say?

It's been 35 days since we learned of Emmie's diagnosis. I can still see the doctor's face studying the ultrasound, not saying a word. I instantly knew there was something wrong, but I was not prepared for the news. Emmie's bowel loops were dilated in the jejunal portion of her small bowel. In basic terms, the middle section of her small bowel is swollen and pulsating in a way it shouldn't. All I heard was "your baby will need surgery right after birth, we'll see you in a week for another scan and set you up with a surgeon." Excuse me? What did he just say? This is a joke, I'm 31 weeks and she's been perfect and healthy. He has to be wrong, and he was so cold about it. Nick and I didn't really react, we were both in complete shock. He went back to work, I got in my car and sat there for a minute and let it all sink in, and lost it. He diagnosed her with Jejunal Atresia, we learned it is a rare genetic disorder and we are extremely lucky it was caught. Over the next two weeks we learned we had to switch OB's, go to a new hospital, get a new specialist, and lastly get Emmie a surgeon.

 The surgeon was the hardest meeting. I had to shake hands with this stranger who is going to cut my daughter open from side to side. The man who is going to inflict pain on her for months to come. But also, the man who will save her life. How do you despise yet need someone so much? I do like him though, he is an Aggie so that's a bonus! My prayer request is that he would be given the knowledge and tools he needs to fix her.

 I have up and down days, but strangely I have found some peace in all of the madness. I begged God to not take this baby away from me when I had a hemorrhage at 8 weeks- HE healed the bleed and allowed the pregnancy to progress. I prayed to not go into labor too early- I am 36 weeks and have been contraction medication free. I have prayed for her to be healed- and she will. She may not be healed in the way I would like but I know He is on her side and she will make it through this. I read Proverbs 3:5 recently and it pulled so strongly at my heart. "TRUST in the Lord with all your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding." Without prayer, without God I would be utterly lost and angry. I couldn't face this without my faith.

 I am not ready for any of this but it will come and I will have to be strong for her sake. I am beyond blessed with this amazing man I get the honor of calling my husband, we'll face this together. We're blessed with family and friends who will help us get through this. We're blessed with one daughter who survived health issues of her own, she is incredible and brings us joy every single day. We have a roof over our head, food on the table, jobs to go to, and access to the best medical care. How could we not be thankful, how could you not see God working in our lives? Please PRAY for our daughter, pray for her medical team and surgeon, pray for her healing.